Messed Up Me!!

Let’s Understand The Problem And Try To Find A Solution!!

It is autumn,and an ugly one,to say.A road is in the view,which is partly macdemised with dust craters large enough to hide a hen and her seven chicken!
On both sides of the road are scarcely planted tress,stripped off though.Not a single leaf hangs down,for they are all scattered around.The leaves are dry and crispy,sucked of their life and moisture.It is a dusty late afternoon,and sun seems to be in a haste to meet it’s destiny.

A man appears on the scene.He is walking like a wounded horse,his gait is sickly too.He may be in his late thirties,but his hairs are a decade older.Black and grey and white hair in equal proportions,but a layer of dust makes it look uniform though.
His clothes are soiled.He is wearing a shirt with three holes,and his pants are teared at the knee spots.I am not sure if he is conscious of his zip or not!
He hasn’t shaved for sometime,I can see.That prickly beard will need a lot of conditioner quantity to set it the way it would have been like once.See,his complexion is slightly darker,and his lips chapped.I can feel this cold breeze,squeezing through his chapped lips to send a wave of horror down his spine.His eyes aren’t gleaming and neither is his gaze open wide.These scattered leaves around him,if shown a slight spark,will surely burn heavens too!

His back faces sun,and his lowered gaze gives me no clue as to where he intends to lead himself .As he hastens,as he could,he crosses me,without asking anything,but I just couldn’t,so I began to ask,and he started to reply-

“Hey,Where are you leading yourself to?”

“I don’t know.I just choose to never think about it!”

“How can it be so,I am worried?”

“It is as it is,and it doesn’t worry me.I choose never to know!”

“May I help you?”

“No,You just need not to.I choose not to be helped!”

Sensing some trouble in air,I didn’t ask anything more and kept my way,then.As I waded along my way,the man changed his intentions and directions and started following me.I felt it is getting worse,and assumed him to be out of brains.I hastened,panting,and he accelerated accordingly.I ran fast,and he did it faster.As I was trying hard to escape I took unconventional routes,and hurt myself enough to fall down,and never rise again.The man was approaching with a serious grin,I was helplessly about to surrender.As he grabbed me by his arms,and opened his mouth wide,I saved myself by opening eyes,that were locked for the whole night!!

Yes,it was a dream,a darker one though.I was awake now,sweating and feeling shivers,my head was rolling and my hands and feet numb.I was literally petrified.I didn’t know what kept me breathing,but I just felt losing it completely.

I waited for the sun to arise,and birds to chirp,and morning zephyr to touch the flowers again,but till then I kept gazing at the empty wall that remained unmoved in front of me!

Finally,things became brighter and I started to ponder upon my dream and was very convinced to believe that the horrific character was actually me!

It was that messed up me!

It was an image of my unorganised self,where my resources appear to be scanty,my capabilities look ordinary,my looks aren’t well enough,my words aren’t meaningful,and my destiny is blurred!

I think you can relate to this picture your own state too.Maybe you are a student and feel entangled in a situation where it is hard to learn.Maybe you are a friend and feel like your another part doesn’t want to keep you along now.Maybe you are a son and feel like your parents don’t love you now,for you shook their expectations.Maybe you are a daughter and feel like you are hurting your parents by so many demands.Maybe you are a leader and you feel like losing the will to lead.Maybe you are you and feeling like to be someone else or so!

If you picturise your problem I am pretty sure you’ll find the same above man,in the same above settings.I know by now you will be feeling depressed and down,but don’t panic I have a solution!!

While I was developing this script a verse of Quran was resonating in my mind,and I always felt in it’s reflection is the cure to this misery and mess.

In Surah Aala…

Allah says,”Indeed Are Those Successful,Who Purified Themselves!”

See,what do we do when a thread is entangled and disturbs itself?
Obviously,we cut it from somewhere.Once done,it gets easier to unwind it and straighten it,and finally relieve it off the torments of disturbances and upsets!
That is what purification is!!
We don’t have to like all of a sudden restart our life,which just isn’t possible,but fix the issues that consume the contents of our life.

Recall the man above and the situations around him.See,you can’t change the season and time,neither can you return verdure to the landscape,nor can you stop that chilly breeze.Things that aren’t in your control can’t be changed,but there are other things you can work on.You can sew the holes up,comb your hair,and at least try to smile.That’s what purification means.You must relieve yourself from the torments of thinking about the things that aren’t in your control,but that doesn’t mean you give up at what you have authority on!

So,let’s wind it up-

It is raining what I should do?
See,You can’t stop it,na?
Take an umbrella!
It is so simple!!

Written By:

Aojhal Junaid

Photo Credits:



Author: AojhalJunaid

"a rediscovered self,some relentless remarks,a room smelling dry mud,a window facing west,shoulders shrugged,clasped memories,some sugary tears,a few scattered books,hideous looks and a promise to keep"

2 thoughts on “Messed Up Me!!”

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